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Showing posts with the label Genesis 9

Genesis 10-11: The Tower of Babel

The Tower of Babel, God's-eye view. Noah’s boys had a lot of children, and over the next couple of centuries they constructed all of civilization on the Fertile Crescent.   Among Noah’s grandchildren was Shem’s boy, named Nimrod, who, perhaps driven by the trauma of having such an unfortunate moniker, was driven enough to be the first king, setting up shop in Babel. “We’re proud to be Babelonian,” said these people, who were caught up in a patriotic fervor.   They set out to build a tower that reached the heavens, somehow afraid that if they didn’t have such a tower, their unity would come apart.   God came down from the heavens to see what was going on.   “This unity is a problem,” God said.   “I need to do something about that.   United, they can accomplish anything, and I don’t want that.   Probably better that they don’t.”   So God invented new languages, splitting up the groups, rendering them unintelligible to one another.   The people couldn’t comprehend one a

Genesis 9: Drinking, Animals, Nudity

Dad's drunk and naked.  Again. Soon after promising to never again to kill off all life, God realized how imprudent this was and gave himself an out.   To the Noah family He then said, “You know, when I said the other day that I wouldn’t kill humanity off again, I just meant I wouldn’t do it by flood .   You got that, right?” “Sure, Lord, whatever You say,” said Noah. “All right, then: that’s the promise.   You be careful now.   And you’d better take care of all my creatures.   I’m watching you.” “Lord?” asked Noah. “Yes?” “Where’d those penguins come from?   And where’d they go?   They were cute.” “Never mind.   And if any of you write about this story, don’t mention them.   Or the kangaroos.   Or the llamas.” “Why not, Lord?” “Don’t ‘why not’ Me!   I am the Lord, thy God!   That should be enough!   Now dig this rainbow.   Whenever you see this, remember that it means that I’m not going to kill you all.   By flood.” “All right, Lord,” sai