Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label Abram

Genesis 17: Circumcision for All You Boys

God said to Abram, “Down on your knees, boy!” so Abram dropped.  “I want to talk to you about something.  I got big things in mind.”

“What’s that, my Lord?” asked Abram.

“What I’m thinking is that I want to put you in charge of everyone in Canaan, so sooner or later you’re going to have to drive all the locals out, I guess.  I want to make you fertile and have a whopping number of children.  You’re going to be the ancestor of kings and nations and the like.  Sound good?”

“Sounds good so far, yes.”

“All I ask is that you get circumcised…”

“I knew there was a catch in there somewhere—“

“Quiet!  Now I’m asking you to get circumcised, and get all your friends to get circumcised, and that you make sure every male who’s eight days old get circumcised.  Otherwise, they’re out.  Get it?”

“Sure.  But do You really think the guys are going to go for this circumcision?”

“Tell them that I said to do it, and they’ll do anything.  You’d be surprised.  Also: you and the missus are going to have to change yo…

Genesis 14-15: Completely Empty Land for Abram to Settle In

Genesis 12-13: How to Get Government Aid