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Genesis 19: Guess What the Sodomites are Up to

It's Thursday!  That means it's time for another chapter of the Bible, rewritten because, well... it just reads better this way!  Enjoy!

Lot was hanging out by the gate of Sodom where he met two angels.  He promptly stood up and bowed down.  “Please stay over at my place so I can wash your feet and you can get an early start tomorrow on your trip.”  As tempting an offer as it is to have a strange man grovel in front of you and beg to wash your feet in his house, the angels said, “No, we’ll just sleep in the town square.”  Could the town square at night really be less dangerous than the house of a guy with a foot fetish?  In Sodom, your chances were about 50/50.  But Lot, knowing that the sure way to get what you want is to keep on wheedling, eventually got them to come over and made them dinner.

They were still up when the house was surrounded by the locals, by every man in town.  “Lot!” they cried.  “Where are those guys you were talking to?  Send ‘em out!  We wanna do ‘em!”

L…